College Years - - when the dinasours still roamed the earth.

LESSONS LEARNED

1. I have learned that you can put life first and man will worship you. That does not guarantee that you will stay at the top of it. But if you put God first, he will put you at the top of the world.

2. I have learned that the way up is going down. The ONLY way to win spiritual battles is humility. The question I keep asking God is this; “If you wanted me to be humble, why did you give me so much pride?” Of course that sounds like a selfish question to ask but it reflects my struggle with trying to give up the ugly beast.

3. I’ve learned that people will sense and feel your love if you sincerely love them. I have seen a huge change with how relatives talk to me now. And all I did differently was “love them”. Saying “I love you” is now a cliché’ and its beginning to lose its value because people misuse it and overuse it when they don’t mean it. I have found that giving someone (who has distanced herself from us) some mangoes out of love speaks louder. You can give someone the moon and the stars but if you don’t do it for the right reasons, it would be like beating a drum on deaf ears.

4. I have learned that if you want someone to change, you need to change yourself first and allow God to change that person for you. It always starts with you. For so long I have been trying to change my husband. It IS draining and I will tell you right now it doesn’t work. I had to learn to stop playing GOD and let the big man do his thing. I had to change my way of thinking, change my attitude towards him, change what I do. It was really the little things that went a long way.

Making him a cup of koko Samoa because before I used to tell him; “WELL EXCUSE YOU, GO GET YOUR OWN CUP OF TEA YOU LAZY BUM! I ALSO JUST FINISHED WORK AND I AM ALSO TIRED!”

Making up the bed and cleaning up our room because before I was like; “WHY DON’T YOU LEARN TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF AND STOP DEPENDING ON ME!”

Listening to his stories from beginning to end because before I was always cutting him off by saying; “OMG – YOU REALLY THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, DON’T YOU!”.

Praying with him before we go to bed because before I was telling him; “YOU DO YOUR OWN PRAYER AND I DO MINE BECAUSE WE WANT DIFFERENT THING IN LIFE!”

The list goes on but until I learned to change myself, God started working his miracles.

5. I have learned that it is a waste of my time to worry over the things I have no control over. I really can’t please everyone and I can’t control the things that happen to me. What I can control is my ATTITUDE towards the things that happen to me. Trials are always going to come my way and instead of feeling sorry for myself and complain about how unfair it is that things are always happening to me, I can accept them, endure them, fight them with love and humility, learn from them and then move on to the next mountain.

6. I have learned that many people are uncomfortable with SILENCE. I can be surrounded by people and be so tuned out of the conversations. People would be chatting away, laughing and sharing. And I . . . I . . .  would be right in the middle of it and have a conversation with myself. (My youngest brother used to call me a loner because he thinks I have no friends…hahaha.)  I sense a few people feeling uncomfortable around me because I am not much for words. I could be in the middle of so many people talking and not have one thing to say to anybody. I like listening to people talk, but I struggle to find things to say. Can I just be there and not say anything? I guess not. Silence makes many people uncomfortable.   

7. I learned why they call the BIBLE the “LIVING WORD”.  I’ve read the story of Jacob in the bible so many times and last night, I learned two new things. Thinking aloud I said – why is it that every time I read this book something new jumps up? I guess that’s why they call it the living word. The stories evolve right before your eyes every time you open it to search for gems. It should be used as a guide. All of life’s answers are there, and they will be revealed to you at the right time if you ask God.

8. I have learned that there is more to this life than just working to pay off loans and put food on the table. My “job” and my “work” are two different things. My job is with Peace Corps and I get paid for it with money. My work is what God wants me to do in this life and he has already paid me in full - - in advance. He saved me. I was a workaholic – always working crazy hours because I am always looking for something better and more money. I was climbing the corporate ladder. I wanted to travel and see many more countries. In order to get to my goal I had to make sure I pleased the boss with what I do. But I have found out that I can try and please people and my efforts will be rewarded in terms of money. But we all know money comes in a full package. But if I do God’s work first, he will secure a good job for me. There is much more to this life than just searching for money. The answer to a secured and successful life is GOD.

9. It is true that there is a “calm before a storm”, but it is also true that “there is always sunshine after the rain”. I have learned that challenges don’t last and NOOOOOO . . . . . . . they REALLY don’t kill you. It just feels like you are going to die but in the end, struggles make you stronger and wiser.

10. I have learned that if you pray in faith – God really will answer your prayers, in a God kind of way. You see, I thought if I just asked for love and humility, God will snap his mighty fingers and it shall be done. I was so wrong. Instead, he provided me with many opportunities to practice being humble and practice unconditional love. Oh how I see people differently now –

that cousin who was put on earth to do nothing else but lie to me and my family! Nope, I don’t feel like wringing his neck anymore.

that one relative who is always talking trash about you! Nope I don’t wish God will burn her in hell.

that brother who always needs things for him and his children! Yes, I help him out now whenever I can in any way I can, not because he asked me or because my dad told me to. I do it now because he is my brother and I love him. What better use for the money I earn than to help out a brother who needs help.

God, Help Me!

You made great teachers out of tax collectors

and turned fishermen into great doctors

My God, take my heart in pieces

and make it whole again.

You fed the multitudes with two loaves of bread and 3 fish

and turned plain water into wine

My God, carry me out of this financial crisis whirlpool

that keeps sucking me down

You spoke the earth into existence

and created mankind out of dust

Bless and strengthen my spirit t

hat I can rebuke the devil and his evil ways

You raised Lazarus from the dead

and gave sight to the blind

My God, wash me clean of my sins and infirmities

so I can worship you wholly.

Look into my heart, oh my God

Give me strength to fight my battles

Give me courage to face my challenges

Give me patience to endure them

 Give me wisdom to make sound choices

Give me love to answer my enemies with love

Give me humility to accept and learn from my struggles

Broaden my faith, my God, that I may always see you in my pain.

Fighting the Enemy

My battles in life come one after the other

the enemy is much stronger now

he’s studied my strengths and weaknesses

he knows my vulnerabilities

he plans to attack me at my weakest points

but . . . I shall not be afraid

I shall boldly put on the “armor of God”.

and sing praises to God as I push forward fearlessly

for I know Jehovah is by my side

and with him I can do all things . . .

. . . I can freeze the sun in the sky,

. . . part the red sea

. . . make great walls tumble down

. . . and he will make me walk on water

With him as my God I can move mountains

. . . and silence a great storm

the furnace will not burn me

the lions will not devour me

So even though I am weak and fragile,

With God on my side I am INVINCIBLE

To God be the Praise

God, be with me forever.

Don’t allow me to walk alone

For I know not my path

I am nothing without you

I surrender myself to you

I submit myself to you with humility

You are my strength

You are my rock, my protector and guardian

I empty my heart of pride and conceit

I empty my head of selfishness and individualism

So that you can dwell in me

Though life presents challenges

that at times seem overwhelming

I rest assured that with you by my side

I will survive

Storms may pass

Earthquakes don’t last

And floods cease

But you, my God, are victory

You are mightier than the winds

You are greater than the earthquakes and the floods

You are……..MY GOD!

Re-run

family breadfruit tree, lonely in the night

darkness once again prevails over all mankind

outside, dad’s blue car shivers in the rain

and I stand there, outside of the silver fence, re-visiting pain

this is a re-run, time after time

such is the flip side of life

someone you love is always saying good-bye

male cousins cruising in the dark

absolute silence, dogs on strike, refusing to bark

taxis going to and fro with bright tail lights

radio stations static at midnight

it always ends – yours and mine

this is the ONLY flip side of life

somebody is always spilling tears and saying goodbye

a great man - dad

Master - Writer

My life is written by the hand of God.
characters well chosen to fit the story line
conflicts in place to mold the contemporary heroine
the suspense continues to build up
creating suspicion in the audience


My destiny is pre-arranged
and my ONLY purpose in life
is to fulfill what the master script writer
had already written for me
- the story protagonist.

Lumafale, Tamalii and self @ the Charge' de Affairs fale at Vailima